So you say you don’t like dark beer? Let us prove you wrong. All of the beers above look the same, but looks can be deceiving; there’s a brooding beer for you, whatever your tastes.

Breakfasty coffee ales (usually stouts and porters) are brewed with steeped java or roasted beans and go down like cold toddy.

To the eye, it’s dark as night; to the tongue, a schwarzbier (German for “black lager”) is a sunny sipper that’s crisp and brightly hopped.

Black IPAs are the dark side of hopmonsters: Their aggressive bitterness comes from huge hops (of course), as well as a dose of roasted malt.

Complex malt profiles mean bold, boozy Russian imperial stouts brim with rich cocoa, coffee and/or plummy notes; high ABVs mean they age gracefully.

The “robust” in “robust porter” refers to the style’s flavor—richly roasted, brilliantly bitter and a tad burnt—and not its strength (around 5% ABV).

If it smells like bacon, it’s probably bacon—except when it’s a rauchbier, a German-style brew made with wood-smoked malt that makes for a meaty nose.